The Marketing Dance: Doing The Jerk part Two

15/08/2014 § 1 Comment

In The Marketing Dance: Doing The Jerk, our last bloggette, I dissected the wrong way to get anyone to be interested about you and your stuff on social networks; where you act like those cheap commercials on Late Night TeeVee with the announcer yelling at you: “Wait, WAIT, there’s more…”


Let’s drop on over to the message boards of LinkedIn, shall we? LinkedIn should be a great place for real professionals to discuss real life situations among themselves or rearrange the brain cells of the newbies so they can “get” the complex issues they need to understand to become better professionals. Instead, there’s the bands with the demos who want to be signed. There’s the wedding videographers who want to do music videos. There was even one guy who suspiciously asked, “Which King Crimson album has “Book of Sunday?”

Any King Crimson fan knows it’s “Book of Saturday” on the iconic album Larks Tongue In Aspic, and any idiot knows how to use Google to search for the string, “King Crimson discography.” Or go to and check out the albums one by one. I am quite sure the guy was trolling for Crimsonoids in order to sell them his bootleg collection or perhaps some tschotke or such ilk. Which is too bad, this kind of hanky panky, just demeans the site, and the members, and drops it, and them, down a few notches from the Professional level.

To help me illustrate this point, LinkedIn was kind enough to send me an email update to the Music and Entertainment Professional Group. There are 61 new discussions and 98 new comments. Ooo, goodie, let’s see what deep thoughts my fellow professionals are thinking during their busy lives to help me find my way through the professional maze that is the music business. The first few discussions still open are chugging along; “Introduce Yourself Here,” “Post Your Facebook Page Here,” and one with some good discussions on the Recording Business Today.

Good stuff, really.

But the new discussions? Well, there’s the announcement that after seven years, some unknown band is back with a name that sounds like they’ve spent those seven years in airport lounges across the nation. If you want to hear their music, click here…

Like why would I?

And another guy who says we can check out his first single. We’re professionals, if we want to hear your music have your manager send it to us.

And then for all of us professionals looking to make a quick buck there’s this: “Unsigned Milwaukee Band is a diamond worth more than gold.” Lets see a pound of diamonds are going for $56,647,130 and a pound of gold, $16,310.37.

So, first, (loud buzzer noise) untrue! And, more importantly, who cares? Unsigned is worth less than signed. Even a diamond in the rough is worth less than one worked on by a jeweler.

And, then, I stopped at the new discussion in the Musical and Entertainment Group section hawking “Baby Safety Products.”

If you do go on the message boards, or anywhere on these sites, and you want to connect, think like you are writing this to your friend–even Facebook calls it a friend list to remind you in case you forgot–and deal with everyone like they were your real life friends. Yes, you would try to get real life friends to buy Girl Scout cookies if your kids were selling them, but you would ring the doorbell first. You would want a prospective employer to pick you out of the crowd, but not by waving a sign sharpied with huge letters stating; “Pick Me! PICK ME!”

If I were you, I would show them you were a thoughtful and understanding professional. Ask real questions in the boards, or of your LinkedIn network. When on Facebook, cool your jets and get information out, not fling around the hard sell and fling it everywhere. While it may fly, it is still, well, you know.

Now if you are a band and have music to sell, well, that flips everything around. You do have something your friends want to buy: CDs, tickets, and merch. But there’s smart ways to do it. Like when Grace Kelly posted a poster on Facebook of her, then, new release of gospel and spiritual songs, entitled, nicely, “Grace.” Honestly, I must tell you that I designed the poster, that album, and even Grace’s latest album, so that you know before you jump over to check it out, this could possibly be a Greenberg example on how to do soft marketing for the social network.

Yes, it could be, but that’s not the point right here. Immediately her FB friends wanted to buy a copy, or asked when it’s going to be released in Japan, and on. Take note, Grace was telling her FB friends that she just received the hard copies of the album and she’d then tell her fans when they would be able to buy it online, soon. She was letting us, her fans, all in on some news and the fans, running with that tidbit pushed the hard sell to their friends, and their friends of friends.

Bruce Berger runs around the world as RebbeSoul, showing off his amazing guitar chops and playing a fun, exciting, and spiritual blend of world beat and rock. I know him from our years together at Ithaca College and he asks for some marketing ideas every-so-oftern. His last release is a tribute to the late Shlomo Carlebach who had, himself, written thousands of Jewish tunes. A few of them, if you were of the Temple persuasion at any time in your life, you may have even sung. Rebbe Soul takes this most Jewish of Jewish music, shakes off the dust all the sleepy friday night cantors may have encrusted them with, and takes the songs into another realm. In fact, Rebbe Carlebach upon hearing RebbeSoul live for the first time, called this place, “Another World,” Which is, of course, the title of the album. There’s some other great stories behind the stories of the songs, all of which, RebbeSoul has blogged about and set up on Facebook, and sent to the press.

RebbeSoul did announce the release of his album, a few months earlier, and he set up a player on his Facebook page for all to listen to the tracks. But more importantly, it’s these stories that are helping to move his sales forward. He nabbed his fans with the hard sell, even though they would buy anything of his at anytime. The soft sell is what is going to gain him the interest of the disinterested.

It is so obvious that online is not the real world–though Second Lifers and online gamers may vehemently disagree. This flip/flop of perceptions just underscores it. Out in the real world you need to sell people hard so they flip out–OMG!–and buy your stuff, instead of shelling out shekels for someone else’s stuff, or buy the you in you, if you are looking for a job instead of going off and hire someone else. It’s the elevator pitch. The five-minute date.

IN HERE (since you are reading this online) think of this engagement like you’re at a party and you want someone to notice you out of everyone else there, but from way across the room. You? Check your teeth in a mirror. Are you dressed well? How about that hair? You need to look the part. Punk crowd, obviously you’re not going to wear Armani. Straighten your tie, your dress or loosen your tie, rip your dress. Play to the crowd. Tell a story, a joke, impart some wisdom, give out a recipe, as you would, to your friends who do want to know how you make that scintillating kind of canapé. Your new friend may sidle up to you, or, perhaps, go to another party; one with more fun, or brighter, wittier, shinier happier people.

You may be able to show off your etchings, so to speak.

Or you may be dusting them off. Alone.

In taking this metaphor to it’s bitterest and boorish end; say, if you were the loud, used car salesman type at this party. Do you have everyone entranced? Or are they slowly moving over into the next room, hitting the drinks and canapés? I, myself would not go yammering up the room with the verbal equivalent of a billboard. Though, those of “that type” don’t get that they are not only being ignored, but they are probably not going to be invited back. They won’t get it right away, but they will sooner or later. They will be shunned, excommunicated, ejected forcibly and de-friended by their circle of so-called-friends.

“So-called” for even Mr/Miss Used Car Salesman would not treat their real life–real world–friends like that, would they?

Would you? Have you?

How’s it going for you, then? Dancing and having a blast with your so-called friends? Or are you dancing with yourself?

For more in the ever-intriguing, suspense-driven, series of blogs written for Berklee College of Music, see:

You Don’t Know Anything and Your Ideas Are Worthless (No, Seriously, Get Used To It…)

Listen to Your Parents and Then…

Marketing OneOH!One: Break On Through To The Tangential Side

The Marketing Dance: Doing The Jerk

Bio for this blogette:

David Greenberg is Director of Marketing for Ted Kurland Associates, where he also runs the intern program. Many of his interns do come from Berklee, and since TKA receives their skills for free, Greenberg thought the very least he could give back was a few thousand words a month imparting his gripes with the business, verbalizing his grimaces at those who should know better, and perhaps spitting out a pearl, or two, of wisdom to the Berklee-ites who visit this blog. Greenberg has spent the better portion of his life marketing great music of all genres, created by musicians with albums in the Rolling Stone Top 100 as well as those whose albums were known by a cultish few, with some success. He honed his marketing skills doing the multitude of jobs he’s held since graduating out of the film department of Ithaca College, a rather full laundry list best best read on Facebookor his LinkedIn profile.


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